Hope

 

 

I am alive.

T am sad

I have OCD

I have depression

I take medication

I am not acceptable to some……

I used to Drink to take away the pain.

I don’t anymore.

 

Why am I not acceptable?

 

I have friends

We are not acceptable?

We have tried to do the right thing

I have tried. I have failed me. I have failed others.

Modern life is too complicated.

I need to rethink.

I am not evil

I am not a bad person.

I have needs

I miss those who find me unacceptable.

I am alive. I have nothing materially

Soon I will have less.

 

Things really aren’t important

I resonate with the universe’s creative being

I am that

That is me

I am you and you are me

And we are all…………one

 

I am feeling low

My job has gone.

My energy has gone

Thankfully the Sun is shining.

AA was a little too religious today

Too tired to react.

 

Other peoples Higher power is theirs

It cant be mine

We all see things differently.

We take viewpoints

And that’s all they are.

 

Emptiness is weariness

Lethargic, no motivation.

Just want to switch off.

Am I ill,?

Last thing I need is more obsessions.

I need fewer questions and wants

 

I can release the need part of the questioning

I can release the desire for answers.

The Emptiness I will let it be.

It is what it is.

No need to figure it out.

Let it spin away

Let it go

Now.

 I am feeling low
I talk to the voice of the victim
Today I kindly acknowledge its presence.
It is trying to help
it has its own reality.
It is what it is.

I can help...
I allow it its space
when given its space
it settles down
like a tired child.

It will always be
 and thats ok
It is starting to see
it cant run things
It can be useful as a gateway to new viewpoints.
it is only small with few perspectives
It can now be the gateway
to infinite perspectives.

It is no longer disowned
no more repressed emotion.
just a new pathway to................

 
I did a retread on the first hundred or so pages of the Sedona Method book. I reinforced the main releasing processes of alowing to let go,allowing things to just be,and diving in to the core of a 'problem'

I was very pleased to use the technique for mental stuckness and resisitance. The basic Question is

      ' Can you let go wanting to change xyz?'
Followed by
      ' Would you?'
      ' When?'

OCD is characterised by obsessive and compulsive thinking in that I would feel that such and such would have to be done. So  by a simple change a basic releasing question can be

    ' Can you let go of HAVING to xyz?'
Followed by
    'Would you?'
    'When?'

I am feeling very pleased with myself ( I need to let THAT go!)I now have a very simple releasing question that I can use at any time...It willbe fun to see how far this goes

22/11/08  Feeling relaxed.

 

Have been doing a lot of releasing recently. I have read  chapter five  Your Key to Serenity in the Sedona Method book. It starts off by mentioning the Serenity prayer.

 

God grant me the Serenity

To Accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can

And Wisdom to know the difference.

 

We use this a lot in AA and I have used it many times when the going gets rough,even though I don’t believe in the conventional form of ‘God’.The second line says it all…. Accept the things I cannot change. The way to do that is to release wanting to change. When I let the ‘wanting to change’ go I am left with a degree of acceptance of what is. If I observe what is, there is  further acceptance.

A releasing question can be ‘ Can I let go wanting to change xyz?’

 To quote from page 128 ‘ When we are focussed on wanting to change a problem, our awareness of the problem causes it to persist. We hold the issue in mind in order to change or resist it’

 By releasing we can either carry out the action or not,we can then see our choices clearly. I remember many years ago when I did some bodybuilding. There were two very successful bodybuilders at our gym. One was very focussed, never spoke while he was training. The other bodybuilder who chatted with everyone, took part in the banter, but did his set of exercise when he did his set of exercises did every bit as well !

I know that over the years I have worn myself out trying to be focussed on various things, only to fail gloriously.

 

Today my DVD player on this laptop has been playing up. I have let go of trying to fix it,either physically or with magical thinking! I rang the technical guys at PC World and they will sort it next week.A few months ago I would have perhaps broken the thing further by having the obsession to fix it and I would have made mistakes, knowing I was making the mistakes but thinking that somehow the player would fix.This is difficult to explain. I would have persisted in perhaps dangerous attempts to rectify the problem because the problem would have to be fixed NOW.

 So letting go of wanting to change is an excellent method of stopping the internal war. I even noticed today at the discussion group at AA that I didn’t HAVE to give an input. I was happy just to listen.

  

 I have just been listening to The Sedona CD course CD 5. Hale came off with this wonderful sentence.