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Worry....

Posted on Jan 1st, 2009 by Serenityjunkie : serenityjunkie Serenityjunkie
Ocddepressed8

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To me worry is a knot of mental energy that I am trying to unravel. It refers to past events and future events it is FEAR   False Events Appearing Real. If I am worrying about something I am not accepting the present moment as it is.... I am wanting something, some situation to be different, or someone to do my will. It exists totally in my thinking and can snowball into an obsession sometimes very quickly.It can lead to compulsions which try to neutralise the worry, they too exist only in my head. however they can  lead to action in the outside world in the mistaken belief that juggling around pieces of the material world will somehow make the thoughts ok.

 I have found that I can get my interior thought based view confused with the outside world, this can cause me to think I can change the outside world by thought, or if I have a particular thought something ( usually bad ) will happen in the outside world.

Getting a degree of recovery for me has challenging. it has involved being able to take multiple perspectives on reality. These include my internal thought processes, and the ability to take an outside view of my behaviour,so as I can recognize problem areas and take remedial action. Seeing this allows me to ask for outside help to help me see whats happening with me. This is a biggy because for years I was frightened of 'constuctive criticism'

Other perspectives include any 'we 'relationships I have and an ability to outwardly assess how the relationship is doing.Finally there is me with a mental health problem and how society as a whole affects me and others like me. Finally there is the ability to outwardly assess societies relationships with people with mental health Problems

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Tagged with: worry, stress, life, integral, OCD, Peace, Life

Not Knowing

Posted on Jan 3rd, 2009 by Serenityjunkie : serenityjunkie Serenityjunkie
Dsc00357


Can I let go of having to know?
Can I let go of wanting to know?

Can I break my link between knowledge and security?
Can I let go of having to have security?
Can I let go of wanting security?

Can I let go of hoarding knowledge?
Can I let go of having to hoard knowledge?
Can I let go of wanting to hoard Knowledge?

Can I break my link between knowledge and control?
Can I let go of having to have control?
Can I let go of wanting control?

Can I accept that I don’t have answers?
Can I accept that perhaps there are no answers?
Can I let go of having to have answers?
Can I let go of wanting to have answers?

Can I let go of the label stupid?
Can I let go of having to feeling stupid?
Can I let go of wanting to feel stupid?

Can I let go of my link between knowledge and approval?
Can I let go of my link between knowledge and disapproval?
Can I let go of having to have knowledge?
Can I let go of wanting to have knowledge?
Can I let go of wanting knowledge to exist?
Can I let go of knowledge?
Can I accept that there may be no knowledge?

Can I accept that I don’t know?
Can I let the state of unknowingness just be?
Can I just be…….?



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Perspectives and being 'right'

Posted on Jan 16th, 2009 by Serenityjunkie : serenityjunkie Serenityjunkie
Earl_3_skull1

From reading Ken Wilber's Integral theory I can (now) see that if there are ten people in a room plus me and if we are all ego centric then there will be 11 different perspectives in the room.

If some people and maybe myself included are able to see a situation from someone elses perspectives then the number of possible perspectives starts to rise..

Studying Big MInd Genpo Roshi says that in a group of people in a room there are an infinite number of possible perspectives. 

I have also learnt this in AA, now if someone wants to get into a heated discussion with me I can just say ' you are probably right'. as it really doesn't matter either way.

By taking multiple perspectives right and wrong become too agricultural for greater possible awareness I find this type of awareness is comforting as it stops me from being right. ; )

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The U G Song

Posted on Jan 18th, 2009 by Serenityjunkie : serenityjunkie Serenityjunkie
The U.G. - Song

This is excellent......
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Interesting Day

Posted on Jan 31st, 2009 by Serenityjunkie : serenityjunkie Serenityjunkie
Apple2

Went to an AA discussion meeting today. I brought up the topic of alternate 12 steps. This went down like a lead balloon.it seems that this morning in my group there was no tolerance for someone who doesn’t think the AA way. I can understand the concept of ‘Higher Power’ in a way that suits me. ( If I get a pain in my lower right side I will definitely not attempt to take out my own appendix I will leave it to someone who knows what they are doing!)I do have questions about powerlessness over alcohol. I believe it can be released using the Sedona Method and similar techniques.. we are then left with an ability to take personal responsibility over the alcohol and not fob it off unto a magical ‘Higher Power’. I find spiritual peace in Zen and teachers such as Eckhart Tolle. the dualistic me and god approach doesnt do it for me,
So today I am fed up with AA its just not floating my boat..  I can see that I am a bit ‘aff’ as we say in Belfast..
sorry for the rant

Do you like my apple?

Philip

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